Poetry Corner: Wedding in White

When I dream at night
I dream of a wedding in white.
When I work through the day,
I keep that dream with me to stay.

When I say white, I don't just mean the dress.
I want my husband and me wrapped in cleanliness.
Full of chastity and sparkling pure
Brimming with innocence, yet sure.

To be a virgin is, to me
more than just vocabulary.
I don't just say I will, I do it.
In all I do, I try to prove it.

Artwork courtesy of Graphicstock

A sacred marriage that will last more than life.
When my husband will take me and make me his wife.
My purity is worth so much more
than to give it up young and lose what's in store.

So why be a virgin?Why should I care?
Why won't I do all that I dare?
Why won't I leave life while I'm young.
Kick up my heals at wickedness unsung.

Because I know that pleasure's not all,
that life is more than just having a ball.
I know that through Christ, marriage is forever
and I'll not risk losing that joy, no never.




I wrote this my senior year of high school. I feel so jaded looking back at this. My life didn't play out the way I dreamed it would back then. I made some stupid mistakes, some bad choices. My husband did too, before we met. We've paid for those mistakes over and over again. But we love each other. We've worked through the mistakes we have made together, and we have worked hard to build a life together. We are still paying for some of those mistakes, but we take responsibility for what we did.

Reading this makes me want to cry. How different our lives could have been if we had been like this when we had met. But then part of me knows that he wasn't raised with this expectation of life. If I had stayed on that path, we never would have gotten together.

Writer's Corner: Why do I Write?

This is something I have been debating lately and it is kind of a long debate. Because there are many facets to this question. The first, and most obvious, is the very literal question at hand, and the answer is fairly simple. I write because I have all these ideas that bounce around inside of me, desperate to get free and if I do not write them down I truly believe that they would drive me mad. It is cathartic, it is a release. The thrill of creating something without the morning sickness that plagued me all through my pregnancy.

The next deeper version of the question would be why do I write and publish? This becomes a bit more complicated. I think it comes down to the old adage, if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, does it really make a sound? I put so much energy into creating this remarkable world, and extraordinary characters (at least to me) of course I want to share it with everyone I meet. Much like I want to share great books I read, movies I have seen, etc. I am not content just to create, I need it out there in the world.

Which leads to the last question I must ask. Why do I spend hours each week working on writing, promotion, spend money advertising, and pushing to be seen and known as a writer? It certainly isn't for the money (I know,I just did my taxes for the third year in a row and my writing "hobby" costs more than any of my husband's hobbies.)If it is for vanity, that is a fail as well. Yes, I have enjoyed some great reviews, but I still wallow in anonymity.  I am pushing the boulder up hill with no idea how far I still have to go to reach the mountain peak.

 And yet, I still manage to convince my family to bear with me on this crazy ride, pushing for more money for marketing, wondering if I can hire a publicist, should I hire a marketing professional, how can I afford to go on tour, and a dozen other thoughts on promotion that aren't practical given how little I am selling.

Which again leads me back to the question: Why do I write? Why do I keep fighting this uphill battle? Why do I keep taking 15-20 hours a week away from my family, chores, health and life? Why do I keep "investing" (yes, I use this term ironically) money into these projects? What is my ultimate goal?

Well, my ultimate goal is to write. I write to be read. Is everything else worth it? That is still up for debate.

Poetry Corner: Balance

Life and tragedy

Image Courtesy of Graphic Stock

for those who think,
is more like comedy
on the brink.

Feeling is pain
and thinking is lonely.
I stand in the rain
and ponder it slowly.

We should listen to Socrates;
find balance in life.
It will give us more easy
and a lot less strife.







Ever been so overwhelmed that you had to laugh to keep from crying? Yeah, me too. A lot. Did you know scientific studies show that those who think more are less likely to be happy? Ah, to have the simple life. Even as a teenager I thought too much. Even as a teenager I struggled with finding balance. Life would be easier if I stopped thinking so much and just accepted things the way they are. I have never found balance. All that wisdom wasted.

Writer's Corner: Where's my Zombie?.

I have a small confession... One I am ashamed to admit. I am done with Zombies.

What?!?! I know, right. Me, who raised her children with the threat "If you did that in a Zombie Apocalypse, you would be dead." Me, who before it was cool to like zombies, often day dreamed of a Zombie Apocalypse. Me, who has written three different versions of a book about a Zombie-like apocalypse, who owns Zombie flux, Zombie munchkin and loves watching her husband play DayZ.

And even now, if there is a Zombie movie or TV show, I feel a compulsive need to watch it. But lately I have been disappointed.

And I don't know that it is solely because Zombies have been "overdone". I think it is because it has been so overdone that people are taking liberties with the concept of Zombies.

First there was 28 Days Later. Arguably one of my favorite Zombie movies, because it was the first time I found Zombies scary. Before that (another secret confession) I enjoyed Zombie movies because it basically gave me permission to enjoy killing masses of stupid people... er, I mean Zombies ;)

Then there was the Resident Evil movies that I thoroughly enjoyed, even though the "infection" crossed the species barrier and we needed to kill animals. (I know, PETA would love me! Ok with killing people, but not animals... but I digress.) It at least had a sound basis in the fact that the virus was man-made and manipulated to cross the species barrier.

Then there was My Boyfriend's Back, Shawn of the Dead, and Fido all turning Zombies into an intentional comedy with still blood and gore and stupid people dying but at the same time stupid people living... and that kind of annoyed me. Yes, I know looking back at George Ramiro's work it was kind of bound to happen, but he wasn't trying to make it funny. It just so happened that there were funny things in it.

Then came Walking Dead (and to be fair, I have watched every episode and will continue to do so until they kill Daryl.) When did the concept of Zombies become more about the survivors than the Zombies? It was an interesting and refreshing view.... for about a minute. Now I am just wondering how some of these people have survived this long. Seriously, the whole joy of Zombie movies was watching the stupid people die. I did get perverse pleasure in seeing Rick cap the wife beater, but wouldn't it have been more amusing to watch him eaten by a female zombie?

Then there was Warm Bodies where a Zombie becomes a romantic interest and regains his humanity...

Now there is a new series: I Zombie, about a young doctor, turned Zombie, who becomes a coroner's assistant so she can eat the brains of already dead people. But she is virtually normal as long as she
can maintain eating human brains.... she is even, dare I say it, sexy in a goth/ emo kind of way.

It feels like the destruction of Vampires. Taking what is supposed to be a warning to society, (Take your pick: stop being a part of the stupid masses, or people will want to kill you, Beware the stupid masses destroying your ability to think for yourself. Stay out of graveyards, whatever message you want to take as a warning.) and turning our monsters into sexualized "hip" cannon fodder to pull in the masses.

and yet, I still feel drawn. I have become a Zombie.

Poetry Corner: Rocks. Tonic. Juice. Magic.

Image Courtesy of Graphicstock

I see the rocks below,
the tonic heals my soul.
The juice of Life makes me whole.
It's magic.










This was another one for class. We drew four random words from a hat and had to make a poem around them. The title is the four words. Think how many ways this could / would have gone if any other 17 year old got a hold of those words!! I had a unique view even back then.

Fresh Meat: Character Introduction: The Trio

The Trio are based on my real best friends throughout high school.  They were the most wonderful boon when I was thrown to the wind and dragged to live in a state that I knew nothing about. They quickly corrected the misconceptions I had about the South. They were smart, kind, quirky, and made that four years of mostly hell bearable.

The Three Musketeers by SacredLugia on DeviantArt

Misty was the little bookworm, like me, and we would talk forever about our latest reads.

Jill was the tomboy, practicing martial arts and ready to kick everyone's ass.

April was the preacher's daughter and accepting of my morals, if not always my religion.

Sadly, we have lost touch over the years. We are all Facebook friends, and I was so proud when one published a book a couple of years ago. Unfortunately they are much like other people who you accept friend requests from that you haven't seen much since high school. Every now and again I see a post, but I don't know the context, am not really a part of their lives.

The book is a work of fiction and so very few of the interactions between the friends actually happened, but they are in the spirit of who we were and how our friendship worked. I had other friends throughout high school, but most of them get relegated to the personality of the trio who they fit most, because a reader would have difficulty keeping all of those "side characters" straight. But these three wonderful women were worthy of representing all of my friends who helped me through the most traumatic experience of my life and helped me forge the mettle to be strong enough not only to survive, but to thrive.

Book review: The Road of Darkness by Zoe Ambler

I really want to enjoy this book.... and I must have, because I finished it eagerly in one day, despite having a lot of house work and several chapters I was supposed to edit... Yeah. I couldn't put it down. It is the story of a young woman from New Orleans who was raised by a voodoo-practicing slave-nanny and ends up getting changed into a vampire because she snuck off to buy some supplies for her own voodoo practices.

Her soul is given to Baron Samedi and we get to see her go through history learning to survive and thrive as a vampire. There are exciting introductions to different species of vampires, to other supernatural creatures, and to demons. The book has so much to love....

But the author rushes through telling us bits that would have been much more interesting shown; rushing through bits and pieces that although not strictly relevant to the plot, were much more interesting.... Well, and to be fair, would have been relevant to the plot because the plot plays out like an autobiography. There isn't really a plot. We are simply following Addison's life, or unlife as it were. Spending more time on interesting and relevant pieces would have been good.

I have to say something about the writing. Usually I am a major stickler for poor writing. There are six books that I have not finished reading in my life. One just recently was made into a major motion picture. Because of that, it gave me pause to say anything. Clearly there is a large mass of readers who don't care.... and there is another book that was made into a motion picture recently that is grammatically well written and I have spent almost three months trying to get through, so I obviously enjoyed this error-riddled book more than those other book which shall remain nameless...

But as a writer, I cannot bring myself not to discuss it. This author is the perfect example of a writer who is a master story teller, but would benefit SO MUCH from having an editor. She did a fantastic job with writing in dialect. And someone obviously did some work editing (though it wasn't obvious until I got to the last handful of chapters where it really fell apart!) but I know high schoolers who could have done a better job editing. Seriously.

There were a couple of pet peeves that really drove me nuts, that could have been fixed by a best friend reading through and wouldn't have cost the author a penny. (It is per se, not per say. You start a new paragraph when you change speakers, and spell check is a must!! In this modern age, there is no excuse for misspelled words. Homophone errors, perhaps, but not straight up misspelled words!)

But really every author should have a professional editor. I provide editing for other authors, and I hire someone to edit my books. Even if you do not have a budget to have the book edited, there are ways to trade favors with other authors, give new editors a chance to build their chops, get beta readers, so many options.  I hope the author does that. Pull the book and get some people to read it. Polish this diamond in the rough and buff that baby straight up because I really want to read this series!!!