This is something I have been struggling with lately. I feel like I am constantly struggling to balance everything. I know what I want, I know how I want things to be, I can see the happy life.... and yet, despite putting all these steps in place to get there I find myself... Not happy.
I am constantly feeling overwhelmed, like a failure, and cannot seem to get everyone on board. See, in my world of "happy" I am trying to balance my job, career, family, husband, house, and living. I have an obsessive need to plan. For there to be enough time to achieve everything, everyone has to pitch in. And they don't. And then I get overwhelmed. I am going to be running some posts on finding this happiness. Today, we are going to talk about finding happiness around one of the most obvious problems: Cleaning.
There are all these cutsey quips online about a messy house is a happy house, and other ridiculous nonsense like this:
And so my children are right, I am a horrible mom because I cannot live like this. And it is not just because I am neurotic about wanting a clean house. I literally get sick if my house is dirty. I am allergic to dust. I cannot breathe when my carpets aren't vacuumed regularly. But everyone else in my house is just fine with the mess, unless they are busy yelling and blaming each other.
And my house is never clean, and I am not happy.
And when momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
I have tried to back off. I have tried the tackle-it- all myself approach, but it just makes me more mad because there are a million other things I would rather be doing than cleaning house. I don't enjoy cleaning house (I envy those who say that they do.) But it is something that needs to be done. There is a reason they call it a chore. But in my house everyone seems to think I have unreasonable standards. I have tried paying for chores, I have tried no fun til chores are done, I have tried "family cleaning time" which just turns into family fighting time. I have tried everything there is to try. I have explained the importance of cleaning, that I can't do it all myself, that I need everyone to contribute. And I will get a bit of compliance for a time.... and then no one wants to do their part.
How do I survive when I am the only one in the house that needs it clean? How do you find the way to being happy living in mess and unable to breath?
Am I just neurotic? Are my problems breathing all in my head? Or should I focus on cleaning and let go of the other things I want, because being healthy is an important part of being happy. I can't be healthy in a dirty house. Let other stuff go.
This is going to be a long saga of trying to find a way to be happy. Solving each problem in turn, I hope will allow me to achieve my end results.
Would love your thoughts on this struggle. Feel free to comment below.